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About LordSmuckenduck

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    Soap salesman
  1. The disappearance of Miss Calica Mr Mirax told me about his investigations into the pirates. He told me about the place they lived. He told me about the ship he had found in the crystal cove. He told me about Danica, an especially viscous pirate. Since Miss Calica got shot at the christmas party we had good reason to suspect that she was kidnapped, and Mr Mirax thought Danica was the kidnapper. It might even have been Danica who shot Miss Calica at the christmas party. We decided to search for Miss Calica together and our first stop was at the British grenadiers. When we landed in their base we met Mr Kira, Mr Chaz and Danica. Mr Mirax accused the grenadiers of helping Danica and demanded they hand over Miss Calica. Mr Kira said he would bring Calica and left. He shortly returned, but he did not bring Calica. He threw a compy to the the ground before us, claiming it to be Miss Calica. To this very day I can not believe the sheer disrespect Kira showed towards us. Miss Calica was missing and he thought that was the appropriate time to make a jest of the situation. Kira threw the compy to the ground, and Mr Mirax punched Kira to the ground. The fight did not last long. Punches were throw, shots were fired and in the end me and Mr Mirax stood before the bloody and unconscious bodies of the pirate and the grenadiers. We flew off to continue the search for Miss Calica. A few days later Miss Calica returned to Stone Haven. She was not kidnapped by the pirates, she simply left Stone Haven on her own. Though Miss Calica was safe back in Stone Haven we still had problems to deal with. Our relationship with the British grenadiers had deteriorated beyond repair. There was no going back to how things were before the fight with the grenadiers. There was a conspiracy looking to bring down Stone Haven, and if the grenadiers were not already a part of it, they would soon be invited as word spread of our fight. Our enemies were accumulating and would sooner or later attack us as a single unified force. We had no choice but to bring the fight to them on our own terms. We were forced to launch a preemptive strike, a decisive strike to discourage all our enemies from standing up to us.
  2. I did some calculations on the damage of melee weapons. These numbers and formulas are things I found on the internet and is therefore not necessarily accurate. I have not done any testing on my own. It is possible that there are variables that I am not aware of that changes the result of my calculations. There might also be math mistakes in my calculations. These calculations are not meant to show exactly how much damage things deal, but to give a general idea of how much damage things deal. There are many other variables that affect damage that I am not taking into account. For example headshot multipliers, etc. I will now use math to show how broken melee weapons are Clubs: Lets assume that a player has 250% melee damage and a 400% damage club. Due to the upgrade station this should be easy to obtain. According to the ark wiki the club has a base damage of 5 and a torpor multiplier of 3.75. It also states that clubs ignore armour, which I think is accurate based on my own experience with clubs. http://ark.gamepedia.com/Base_Damage#Weapon_damage_values http://ark.gamepedia.com/Wooden_Club The melee damage dealt by a player is calculated by this formula: Weapon base damage * Player melee damage * Weapon melee damage The torpor damage is calculated this way: Weapon base damage * Player melee damage * Weapon melee damage * Torpor multiplier. Using these formulas a player with 250% melee damage and a 400% damage club would deal 2,5*4*5 = 50 damage with a club. The resulting torpor damage would be 50 * 3,75 = 187,5 I don’t think I have to point out how ridiculous it is we all can get one hit knock out clubs this easily. But what about fortitude? I found numbers about fortitude torpor reduction here: At 120 fortitude the torpor is reduced by 70%, and I will be using this for my calculation. Torpor damage after fortitude = 187.5 * 0.3 = 56.25 torpor damage. This still knocks a player out in one hit. Of course you could keep increasing your fortitude, but fortitude has diminishing returns as you keep increasing it. Even if you get to 200 fortitude you will probably be knocked out in two hits. What about swords? Since I am already doing these calculations I decided to check the damage of swords. Lets assume a player with 250% melee damage uses a 400% damage sword. The sword has a base damage of 90. http://ark.gamepedia.com/Metal_Sword The damage we end up with is 90*4*2.5 = 900 damage. You would only survive this if you were wearing really good armour. Lets see how this sword does against a chest piece with 1000 armour and 1000 durability. For my armour calculations I will be using formulas found here: https://forums.unrealengine.com/showthread.php?86237-Tutorial-Armor-and-Damage Since a lot of those reading this won’t be reading that link, here is a short explanation: How damage works: Ark has two types of damage, general damage and point damage. General damage is applied to all of your armour. For example, when a rex bites you all of your armour helps block the damage. Point damage is applied to armour that is hit by a point damage weapon. For example, when you get shot in the chest by a longneck your chest piece is the only thing blocking the damage. Swords are point damage weapons. How armour works: The armour stat of the armour determines how much damage is blocked each time you take damage. The durability stat determines how much damage can be blocked before the armour breaks. Every time you block damage, that damage is applied to the armour durability instead of the player. Armour with 1000 durability can block 1000 damage before breaking. Armour reduction for point damage is calculated this way: Damage taken through armour = Damage/((armour/100)+1) Since we are working with an armour value of 1000 we can simplify the formula to Damage/11 Lets now see what happens when the sword hits the chest piece. The sword deals 900 damage per hit and the chest piece has 1000 armour and 1000 durability. Hit 1: The sword deals 900/11 = 81 damage through the armour and 819 damage dealt applied to the durability. We are left with a durability of 181. Hit 2: The sword deals 900/11 = 81 damage through the armour and the rest is dealt to the durability. 819 damage is dealt to the durability of 181. It is dealt 638 more damage than there is durability. I am unsure what happens to the 638 leftover damage. It either disappears or is dealt to the player taking damage. Hit 3: If the player is not already dead it will die after this hit. Conclusion: I agree with Malickay that clubs are too strong and I believe that my numbers speak for themselves. I also think that this is an issue not with the club but with the upgrade station. My example with the sword shows how high quality armour can be broken in two hits and that is just with the regular sword. Last season there were mods that introduced melee weapons with really high base damage, and through the use of the upgrade station I was able to get a weapon that dealt over 1500 damage per hit. Due to how melee damage is calculated it is fairly easy to get weapons that deal 20 times base damage. Lets say riot armour is introduced on the server. I can no longer use my broken one hit club, but I can always use my broken one hit sword.
  3. I am currently facing way too much school work to be able to play ark on a regular basis. I probably won't be able to play ark untill June. I will continue to stick around and participate on the forum, but probably won't log into ark.
  4. The salesman from the west could still feel the occasionnal sting of pain on the side of his head. He had faced the madman in pink and cyan twice. Been beaten down twice. Locked in a cage and knocked out in front of his friends. Humiliated twice. Usually he would leave an island after this kind of event. He would sail east to yet another island, but this time it was different. He liked Crasite. He liked The Vanguard. He had friends here. The next time he meets the madman, the result is going to be different. Alexander had made it clear that The Vanguard would not support him in his fight. He has to face the madman on his own. He has to prepare himself both physically and mentally. He has to refine his technomancy and improve his weapons. He has to become stronger. He has to become a warrior.
  5. "Gather around! Gather around!" The salesman from the west stood ontop of a small box in the middle of the busy street. "Come get yourself magical potions of the highest quality!" Through his travels he had learned that there were always someone gullible enough to believe his stories. "Titanboa oil infused with the powers of alchemy and mysticism! You heard that right! Alchemy and mysticism! The people who were just walking past him one moment ago were now gathering around him, curious to see what he had to sell. He held a vial containing a purple liquid up in the air. "This potion was made by the great enlightend one of the west, the man who conqured the power of both the green and the blue obelisk! This potion will regrow your hair! It will cure all your illnesses! It will even make you younger if you desire! I once saw a man regrow his leg after drinking one of these potions! It even tastes like mejoberries! Just form a line! There is enough for everyone!" The crowd started to shuffle around and managed to form a semi-organized line. On the front of the line stood an old looking man. "I would like one vial of the miracle potion" "Certanly my good man! That will be 100 coins! Just open the vial and let the potion breathe for one hour before you drink it! Any wish you have will come true!" After the vial and the coins had changed hands the old looking man went on his way. The old looking man would soon enough realise that he had been cheated, but by that time the salesman from the west would be on a ship traveling east to yet another island.
  6. The christmas party In Stone Haven we recieved a letter inviting us to a christmas party in the city of Stillwater, and several Stone Havencitizens including myself, Mr Mirax and Miss Calica decided to attend. There were food and drinks, but I did not touch any of it. The food and drinks were prepared by Mr Tavernkeeper and Palatheio, and I would never eat food served by a savage. The christmas party was quite entertaining. There was a painting contest, and there were singing in the tavern, but the most entertaining event was the fighting ring. There were many fights and I tried to fight Mr Mirax, but I was quickly thrown to the ground. I decided to stay at the sideline to watch the fights. For some time the fights continued but they ended abruptly when someoneyelled that Calica had been shot. Miss Calica was on the gound unconscious, but fortunately the unknown shooter used a tranq dart. Even though we searched the entire city of Stillwater we were unable to find the perpetrator, and I decided that Miss Calica hadto be brought back to Stone Haven. The city of Stillwater was too dangerous. We brought Miss Calica back to Stone Haven and I started to contemplate why the shooter used a tranq dart. I believe the shooter wanted to send a message. Tell us that our leadership was not safe anywhere. Tell us that our citizens could be killed at any moment A few days passed without trouble untill the day Mr Mirax approached me in an aggrivated state and told me that the pirateshad kidnapped Miss Calica.
  7. //This post intentionally contains A LOT of misinformation. It contains a lot of half-truths //mobile formatting is really messed up and i have no clue how to fix The trial of Palatheio After Sven left Stone Haven life continued as usual. Life was mostly peaceful except for the occasional t-rex that wandered too close to our settlement. This lasted until the day the people of Hillsburgh visited Stone Haven. This was the day Palatheio attacked. Allow me to introduce Palatheio. Palatheio is one of the most despicable people I have met during my stay on the different islands. Palatheio was a witch doctor, a filthy savage. Where ever he went he would cause trouble, and on this particular day he targeted Stone Haven. When I encountered him he was harassing and threatening one of our citizens, Miss Myla. Myself and some of the men from Hillsburgh acted swiftly and chased him off. At first it seemed that the situation was handled, but that uncivilized barbarian soon returned to Stone Haven, this time carrying weapons. I warned Mr Mirax of the danger and we attempted to apprehend Palatheio, but he managed to escape us, swimming away on a dolphin. Of course the crime of harassment and assault of our citizens and guests could not be allowed to go unpunished, so we set out to track down the savage. We found him in the Clearwater tavern. Palatheio attempted to get away by throwing sleeping gas against us, but he could not escape us. We arrested him and brought him back to Stone Haven to face justice in the form of a trial. When we captured Palatheio at the Clearwater tavern there were many people present, and the word of the trial spread quickly. The trial of Palatheio was held in the great hall of Stone Haven and several groups including the British Grenadiers, Aegis Corps and the people from Hillsburgh were present for the trial. There were too many to keep track of everyone. As Mr Mirax prepared to lead the trial there were some protestors arguing that Mr Mirax would not give Palatheio a fair trial. Those fools would rather see a dangerous criminal go free than let justice triumph. Mr Mirax conceded to their protests and asked Miss Calica to lead the trial. I was quite confused about why Mr Mirax would ask Miss Calica to lead the trial instead of me. I was concerned that Miss Calica was not fit to lead the trial, but I kept my concern to myself. I trusted that Mr Mirax to knew what he was doing. Miss Calica took her seat at the head of the table, and the trial began. Miss Calica handled the trial much better than I expected her to. There were many people talking over eachother, but she managed to stay in control while questioning us about what had happened. We explained Palatheios crimes, and numerous witnesses confirmed our story. Of course Palatheio had no coherent defence for his actions, all he did was throw forwards petty lies. He told us a ridiculous story of how Mr Mirax had stolen his pike, and that he had come to retrieve it. Of course all of those stories were false. In Stone Haven we produced modern weapons. Mr Mirax would never need to steal the primitive weapons of a savage. Palatheio threw more baseless accusations towards Mr Mirax until Miss Calica decided to temporarily cease the trial. She decided that Miss Mylas input was necessary to reach a verdict. As Miss Myla was not present during the trial Miss Calica decided to put the trial on hold until Miss Myla could provide her statement. I was put in charge of guarding Palatheio while waiting for the trial to continue. I brought Palatheio into the Stone Haven cave to lock him up in one of the houses we had inside the cave. Somehow Palatheio had managed to get his hands on a sleep grenade, and he attempted to throw it at me and make his escape, further proving his guilt. Of course a mere savage could not escape a proper civilized man such as myself. I dodged the sleeping gas, shot him with a tranq dart and locked him up. After a few days the trial was set to continue, but during the wait we received an anonymous letter. The letter told us o release Palatheio or we would face consequences. When the trial finally continued Palatheio had prepared more lies. This time he threw his accusations against me. The lying savage now accused me of robbing him. When Miss Myla was brought forward she told everyone about Palatheios harassment. Palatheio claimed that he did not mean to harass her, he just wanted to see her tattoos. He claimed that everything was a big misunderstanding. Eventually Miss Myla decided to agree with Palatheio, agree that it was all a misunderstanding. Miss Myla requested that Palatheio should be released, and Miss Calica complied with her request. Miss Calica delivered the final verdict, Palatheio was found not guilty and was allowed to leave. Even though Palatheio was not punished for his crimes some good still came out of the trial, we received the threatening letter. To this day I still do not know who sent it, but the letter was definitive proof that there were people trying to architect the downfall of Stone Haven. We had proof of enemies.
  8. I would love to join, but I have a philosophy exam tomorrow
  9. OOC: For those who were not around at the time, this story is about events that took place from late November 2015 to early January 2016 WARNING: This story is heavily biased and is not meant to be an accurate or objective depiction of the events and the characters involved. This is the story of Bjørn Nordliggård, and everything is seen from his perspective. This is not the full story of what happened. There will be many events and characters that wont get mentioned because I simply do not have the time to write a full story. The things I write about are the things I view as the most important events. Since this was written a year after the events took place I may have misremembered some things. If anyone spots something that is wrong, please let me know An introduction I believe it is important to document and remember the villains of history and the heroes who defeated them. It is important to remember the rise of Napoleon and his downfall. With that in mind I am writing down this piece of the island history. This is the story of my life beside Mr Mirax. My name is Bjørn Nordliggård. I was born in Christiania and got my education at the prestigious university of Copenhagen. Before I came to the island I held many important positions such as the director at the bank of Christiania. I was also an important man in the Norwegian army, and when the soldiers of Carl Johan crossed the Norwegian border, I stood on the walls of Fredriksten risking my life for the fatherland My new life in Stone Haven When I first arrived at the island I woke up outside of Stone Haven. This was the first island I ever was on, so understandably I was quite confused. The good people of Stone Haven allowed me to stay in their city, and I learned a lot during the first few days. I learned about the great beats roaming the island, I learned about the people from different times and I learned about the technological wonders of the future. Stone Haven was governed by the mayor and the city council. The mayor of Stone Haven was Sven. He was a man of short stature who seemed quite unremarkable when I first met him, but he proved me wrong soon enough. Sven was a businessman just like me, and he was the man responsible for the success of Stone Haven. Despite his small size, Sven was a great man. The city council of Stone Haven had two members, Mr Mirax and Miss Calica. Their purpose was to give Sven advice and govern when Sven was away. Mr Mirax was quite the brutal man. He was very concerned with the security of Stone Haven, and always on the lookout for enemies. He saw everyone as a potential threat. One day I found a naked man on the beach being chased by a dilophosaur. I shot the dilophosaur and brought the naked man to Stone Haven. Mr Mirax was very displeased by my actions, claiming that the naked man might be a threat. Of course I explained that the notion of a naked man being a threat is quite ridiculous. Mr Mirax wanted to prove me wrong. To demonstrate his point he took off his clothing and beat to to the ground. Afterwards he told me to keep quiet about what had just occurred. After that event I naturally harbored quite the distaste towards Mr Mirax. The other council member, Miss Calica was a young woman. She was one of the first people I talked to when I first arrived at the island. She helped me get some proper clothing and a place to sleep. At the time I was quite confused about Miss Calica's position as a council member. She was a woman after all. To me it seemed that there were no governing jobs Miss Calica could do that a man such as myself could not do better. Though I was quite skeptical of Miss Calica's leadership capabilities, she later proved herself able to handle such an important responsibility. Miss Calica could have been a great leader had it not been for her unfortunate mistake. Life in Stone Haven was mostly peaceful and quiet, but it did not take long before there was trouble. One day the island started sinking A new island When the island sank many people escaped on Stone Haven's boats. We sailed until we came to a new island, the island that has later been referred to as the Valhalla. There were many from Stone Haven who did not make it, but those of us who did sought refuge in a cave by the coast. We started to rebuild Stone Haven and explore the new island. Our closest neighbor were the British grenadiers. They were settled near the entrance of the Clearwater lake and controlled the boat traffic going to and from the Clearwater lake. They viewed themselves as some sort of noble peace keeping army. Though I do not remember all their members I do remember their leader Mr Kira, Mr Cain and their most annoying grenadier, Mr Chaz. Mr Chaz would always refer to himself as "the actual Chaz" or similar nonsense. Along the shores of the Clearwater lake you could find the Clearwater tavern. It was quite the nice tavern and apparently served some quite high quality scotch that I never got to taste. The tavern was owned by a man who I always referred to as Mr Tavernkeeper. Though Mr Tavernkeeper was by in large a proper civilised man, he could be quite uptight sometimes. If you followed the river south from the Clearwater lake you would come across Camp Ajax. Camp Ajax was the home of the Aegis corps. They were a military group of supposed peace keepers. Throughout my time on the island I only met two of their members, their leader Thomas Anderson and Mr John. Mr John is the only one of them that I had any significant interactions with. He was a good man, but could at times be very foolish. He was the kind of man that would rather follow his heart than follow reason. Further south by the swamp was the city of Stillwater. It was a city with large stone walls around it. I never interacted much with Stillwater and its citizens, and i only remember their mayor, Mr Luke. At the coast of the southern island was Hillsburgh. Hillsburgh was a large settlement led by Lord Felman. Just like Sven, Lord Felman was a short man. Hillsburgh were one of our allies, and I fought beside their soldiers on several occasions. The people of Hillsburgh were good people and many were from an earlier age. They lacked knowledge of modern technology and lived quite primitive lives, but they still managed to survive the hardships of the island. North of Stone Haven on an island was the settlement of a group who called themselves The New Commonwealth. Their leader was Mr Jackson. Mr Jackson was a friend of Sven, and for a long time the Commonwealth were allies of Stone Haven. Mr Jackson was a proper civilized man. When I first met Mr Jackson he appeared to be a good man, but he would later turn out to be a wolf in sheeps clothing. The first conflicts The island of Valhalla was a dangerous place filled with dangerous creatures and dangerous people. There were rumors of pirates pillaging costal cities and a group called The Merry Men robbing the weak and innocent. To survive the harsh island you had to be able to defend yourself. Though my relationship with Mr Mirax had a rough start, we shared the goal of protecting Stone Haven, and we became close friends working towards this goal. I remember the first mission me and Mr Mirax went on. A Stone Haven citizen told us that he had seen the British Grenadiers attempting to break into one of our boats. Me, Mr Mirax and some other Stone Haven citizens took one of the boats and went to pay the British Grenadiers a visit. Though the Grenadiers were soldiers, they were easy to subdue. We brought their leader, Mr Kira and Mr Chaz naked to Stone Haven for interrogation. We questioned them until Sven arrived. Sven talked to them for a bit and determined that they were innocent. When Sven was finished speaking to them they were allowed to leave. After that mission my friendship with Mr Mirax grew quickly. We stocked up on weapons and armor, tamed many battle dinosaurs and were always prepared to defend Stone Haven. When the Merry Men were planning to attack Stone Haven we tracked down their boat and stopped their foolish plans. With me and Mr Mirax on the front line, we made sure no harm came to Stone Haven and its citizens. When I and Mr Mirax went to battle we were a fighting force with no equal. Even when we were outnumbered and outgunned we would always leave escape the battle alive. We had rebuilt Stone Haven and the city was flourishing. We had food, wealth and shelter. We were on the path to success, untill one day Sven informed us that he would leave Stone Haven for a while. He wanted to investigate the island, and left Mr Mirax and Miss Calica in charge. It was after Sven left everything went wrong
  10. "What is your name?" "My name is Bjørn Nordliggård" "How many islands have you been on?" "Four" "Who were you, before the islands?" "Before I came to the islands I was quite the important man. I was the director of the bank of Christiania." "What were your early days on the islands like?" "They were quite peacefull. This was before Sven left to search for, well something. I am not quite sure what Sven was searching for, but after Sven left, Mr Mirax started causing trouble." "What is your greatest memory?" "My greatest memory is from Eidsvoll 17. of May 1814, the day we signed the constitution." "What is your greatest regret?" "I regret that I did not stop Mr Mirax soon enough. By the time Mr Mirax was finally put in his grave, too many lives were lost. That is one of the few mistakes I have made in my life." "If you could go back and change one thing, anything, what would it be?" "Well, there is a lot I would change. I would go back and stop Mr Mirax sooner. I would also like to return to Norway and tell that French dog Carl Johan what I really think of him." "Soda, Coffee, or Tea?" "Tea"
  11. The reason Stein speaks the way he speaks is because I recently reread The walking dead comics, and this looked way to fun not to try out. THE WALKING DEAD COMIC SPOILER WARNING!!!! http://imgur.com/a/p4ZA7
  12. //I wanted to write about the story of my character, but I am too lazy to write a long story. //I present to you all the awsome as fuck life of Stein Møller! Before the island: Stein is from a mid sized Norwegian town Stein attended the local high school studying machinery, but he dropped out after a year After dropping out, Stein started working at the local Rema 1000 About Stein: Stein is in his early 20s Stein is a keyboard warrior Stein really likes the word fuck. Like seriously, I don't think you can fucking comprehend how much Stein likes to say fuck. He fucking loves it! Stein likes to act tough
  13. I would be up for this, but my current character is not a fighter
  14. I was considering starting playing after the wipe, but have now decided that I will not. I recently moved to a new city and started attending university, and in between studying, hanging out with all my new friends and partying I won't have much time to play video games. Its been fun. Bye!
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